Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
