Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
