i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just threw up on my dentist
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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