dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
