Screwed.edu
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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