Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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