the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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