Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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