I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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