Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
