maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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