The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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