so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
