i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
is it fun? or sober?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
