I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
is it fun? or sober?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
