i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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