Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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