I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
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Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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