It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
