I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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