i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need water and some morals
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
