Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
