Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize