Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize