Porn is love you can see.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
