We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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