And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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