Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
