I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The feeling are messing with the penis
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
