he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
