I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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