So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
