i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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