I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
