Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize