OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
