Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just had sex bonerless
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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