Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will be naked everywhere
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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