She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
