Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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