I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
