so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
