good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm always down for nudity.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
