I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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