Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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