Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize