im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Holy sore nipples Batman
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
