The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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