I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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