East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
