Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
