a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
