isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
