Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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