I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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